On a Saturday when I was a kid, my mom had all of us children cleaning in our unfinished basement. The basement collected all sorts of things so this
was a monumental task destined to last for the whole day! After a while, I snuck away and decided that, as a surprise, I would make cookies for
everyone while they were cleaning. So I began. I got out a bowl and a spoon. And then… how do you make cookies? I took a long pause as I thought.
Definitely flour. Sugar. Oh, probably an egg. After some experimentation, and certainly no use of measuring cups, I heard someone coming upstairs.
They would find me! Panicked, I looked about for a place to hide the bowl. On the floor next to the fridge! (Although almost any other spot on
the floor would have hidden it better) and I dashed upstairs to hide. In a few minutes my older sister found me and showing me the bowl she asked,
“Do you know what this is?” I had to confess I knew nothing of how to make cookies and my plan to surprise and delight everyone was a complete
failure. She took it down to my mom and explained for me. I felt miserable. I had done a dumb thing and now I would get in trouble.


There were many times in my childhood when I got in trouble. There were times when I was angry with my mom and when I felt like she was being unjust.
As a mom myself now I often reflect on how I was raised and disciplined. I look at how other parents respond to their children’s behavior and how
their children respond to them in turn. I read about child development. But even with all this, there are plenty of times I find myself angry with
my kids and not knowing what to do with them! Surely my mother felt this way many times.
 
But as I remember being a child, it didn’t ever occur to me that she was imperfect until I grew up. I just assumed she knew exactly what she was doing
at all times, and I wanted to be just like her. Isn’t that what it’s like to be a grown-up, you finally know everything? As a teenager, I sat at
the same counter listening to my mother tell me about her faults and how she was trying so hard to be like her sister. Inwardly it made me laugh,
because they seemed like such little things to me compared to all her good qualities. But the most poignant thing about these expression of weakness
was how hard she kept trying to be better. So with my own children I keep trying and learning.
 
One of the greatest things I’ve learned about child development is that parents don’t have to be perfect, they just have to keep trying and their children
will work to perfect what they see. A child looks at their parents with the most forgiving eyes. They naturally love and adore their parents. This
creates an intense desire to copy and even do better.
 
When I got in trouble I was usually spanked and put in time out. But my mom would always talk to me after and teach me about how what I did that was
wrong. She was gentle in talking to me, and I knew she loved me. But that didn’t mean I liked it. So when I went back down stairs with my sister
and my failed cookie dough I wasn’t looking forward to talking to my mom.
 
My wonderful mother questioned me about it. She learned my intent. She asked me what I had put in and how I had measured it. And then she went to the
pantry and got out her cookbooks. She and my older sisters began looking through for a recipe they could use to transform my mess into actual cookies.
They reasoned that the closest thing would be to turn it into a triple batch of Mrs. Field’s Cookies. When it was finished I remember my mom and
older sisters saying it wasn’t very good, but I thought it was fantastic! I remember sitting on the steps in our garage with my cousins and the
two sisters closest to me in age, eating that cookie dough and taking about it.
 
I didn’t get in trouble that day, but she taught me lessons that remain with me stronger than any spanking or timeout I ever got. I learned more that
day than just the importance of using a recipe when cooking. I learned that mistakes can be fixed. I learned to be patient and kind and understanding
because little children are often trying to do something good. I learned that even imperfection can be delicious with the right attitude. But most
importantly, I knew that she loved me more than she cared about whether I made a mess or tried to get out of doing chores.

– AnnaLisa Davis