A headline recently warned parents that their children might encounter a live-streamed execution of the convicted Fort Hood shooter, who killed 12 military personnel and one civilian in 2009. Thankfully, it was announced that the execution will not be live-streamed after all. Yet the warning raises an unsettling question: Have we become so accustomed to the dangers of the online world that we accept the possibility of children encountering horrors they should never have to witness?
As a mother of six, I know that protecting children requires difficult decisions and a willingness to be unpopular. We cannot control every influence in their lives, but we are responsible for the boundaries we establish and the values we teach.
Preparation Is Not Exposure
Today, children can encounter pornography, graphic violence, predators, and disturbing material through smartphones, social media, video games, movies, music, and online videos. Sometimes, they don’t even have to look for it. Rather, it finds them.
We often hear that children must be prepared for the real world. This is true of course, but preparing children for something is not the same as exposing them to it. We don’t teach children to swim by throwing them into deep water and hoping they figure it out. Yet we routinely give children access to adult content and environments before they have the maturity to navigate them.
A smartphone is not a childhood necessity, and neither are social media, online gaming, or unrestricted internet access. Parents should feel no guilt about delaying or refusing these privileges, regardless of what their children’s peers have. Just because a child can access something does not mean a child should.
Who Is Shaping Our Children?
Our responsibility extends beyond screens. Friends, schools, entertainment, and the wider culture all influence how children understand the world. Parents must know what their children are being taught and exposed to rather than assuming every institution has their best interests at heart.
Sex education belongs first and foremost to parents, not teachers. Parents should guide their children’s understanding of sexuality according to their moral convictions, without surrendering that responsibility to school curricula. Likewise, things such as drag queen story hours are inappropriate for children, and parents should not be pressured to accept them simply because they are presented as entertainment.
The issue goes deeper than any single video, lesson, or event. What children repeatedly encounter can shape what they eventually consider normal. They are absorbing messages about sexuality, relationships, and human dignity long before they can critically evaluate them. If parents do not help them understand those messages, someone else will.
For families able to homeschool, it is worth serious consideration. However, whatever educational path we choose, we must remain actively involved in our children’s formation.
Boundaries Are an Act of Love
Parenting is not a popularity contest. Our job is not to give children everything they want, but to form them into adults capable of exercising freedom wisely. That means setting limits, enforcing them, and sometimes enduring our children’s displeasure.
It also means examining our own habits. We cannot tell children to avoid inappropriate material while consuming it ourselves. Age-appropriateness matters. For example, I would not show The Lord of the Rings to my four-year-old. It’s frightening scenes would leave her terrified at bedtime. That does not make the movie inherently wrong. She simply isn’t ready for it.
But there is a difference between content a child isn’t ready for and material we should now be allowing into our lives at all. For example, sexually explicit content and pornography should not be excused simply because they are intended for adults. Our children learn from what we watch and tolerate. If we want them to exercise discernment, we must model it.
Protection is not merely about keeping harmful influences out. It is about giving children something good to build upon. A mother and father committed to one another in marriage can model fidelity, sacrifice, and mutual respect. Children deserve to see love lived faithfully at home, not merely hear warnings about what love is not.
Where Do We Begin?
Here are some suggestions for parents:
- Review their access. Know which devices, apps, games, and online contacts your children can access. Parental controls help, but they are not foolproof.
- Set boundaries. Delay smartphones, social media, and unrestricted internet access until your children are mature enough.
- Know what they are taught. Review school materials, especially question sex education curricula and books they are reading, and speak up when content or activities violate your family’s values. Consider homeschooling if you can! My family has been homeschooling for 11 years. I’m happy to try to answer your questions if you have any.
- Choose media deliberately. Distinguish between content a child isn’t ready for and material that should not be normalized at any age.
- Lead by example. Practice the standards you expect your children to follow.
- Keep communication open. Teach children to be on guard for bad content and influences, to recognize manipulation and inappropriate behavior, and make sure they can come to you without fear or shame.
We cannot eliminate every danger, but we can refuse to treat premature exposure as inevitable. We can give our children guidance, firm boundaries, and a home where they learn what love, respect, and responsibility look like.
As parents, we are raising souls, not merely managing screen time. We cannot delegate that responsibility to technology companies, schools, or the wider culture. The outside world will not always protect our children’s innocence. That responsibility belongs to us.
Sometimes, the most loving thing a parent can do is say no.
