Forgiveness.
It’s one of the hardest realities to live out. When we hear the stories of people like Erika Kirk who recently made the courageous choice to publicly forgive her husband’s killer, we are both inspired and challenged. We are inspired because such an act reflects Christ Himself. Yet, it challenges us when we realize just how much love and grace it requires. The choice to forgive over and over again is not an easy one to make.
Erika Kirk’s testimony to Divine Mercy is nothing short of heroic. Her public act of forgiveness is an invitation to all of us. Make no mistake, it’s not political. Rather, it’s an invitation for all of us to move forward beyond whatever pain and suffering we have experienced by asking Jesus into it. It’s an invitation to move forward with His grace. While forgiveness must begin within each of us personally, her witness also reminds us that it is needed on a much larger scale. Forgiveness is needed within our families, our communities, and our society as a whole.
Even when forgiveness is witnessed in powerful public ways, it is never simply a one-time action. It is a daily choice. Sometimes it might even be an hourly choice or even a moment-by-moment choice to say “yes” to grace instead of clinging to resentment.
Forgiveness as Heroic Virtue
The saints of the Catholic Church were everyday people like us whose lives teach us that heroic virtue is not about doing extraordinary things that look impressive to the world. Rather, living lives of virtue often means doing ordinary things with extraordinary love. Forgiveness is one of those things. It might not look dramatic from the outside, but the interior battle it demands can be fierce.
When someone has wronged us (whether through betrayal, cruelty, abuse, lies, abandonment, or even violence) the natural response is anger. We long for justice, sometimes even for vengeance. To forgive in such circumstances is not natural; it is supernatural. It requires us to step beyond what we are capable of in our own strength and rely on the mercy of God.
The hard truth is that forgiveness rarely happens in an instant. It unfolds slowly, like a flower opening in the sun. Every day, we are invited to say “yes” again. We are invited to say “yes” to praying for the one who hurt us, invited to say “yes” to asking God to soften our hearts, invited to say “yes” to resisting the temptation to rehearse old wounds, and invited to believing that Christ’s love is stronger than our pain.
Forgiveness Is a Choice
Let’s be clear: forgiveness is not a vague feeling that washes over us. It is not pretending an offense never happened. It doesn’t mean allowing ourselves to remain in unsafe situations. Forgiveness is a choice. It is a conscious decision to place the offender into God’s hands and to let go of resentment.
That doesn’t mean the hurt vanishes overnight. The memories may return. The pain may resurface. The anger may try to flare again. Each time, forgiveness invites us back into prayer:
“Lord, I don’t feel like forgiving right now. But I choose to forgive. Help me to see this person as You see them. Give me the grace to love, even when everything in me wants to hate.”
Over time, this daily “yes” becomes a pathway to peace. The bitterness loosens its grip. The desire for revenge fades. Slowly, by God’s grace, we find ourselves set free.
By the way, anger is not necessarily a bad thing. We can have a righteous anger just as Jesus did. It’s the hatred and resentment that can arise from unchecked anger that we have to worry about.
The Model of Christ
On the Cross, as He endured unspeakable pain, Jesus looked down at the very men who drove the nails into His hands and prayed: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34)
This is the heart of Christianity. This is Divine Mercy. If Christ can forgive His killers, if He can forgive us, then He calls us to forgive those who wound us. No one truly deserves God’s mercy, and yet He offers it freely anyway.
In the Lord’s Prayer, we pray: “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”That little word as carries a heavy weight. We are asking God to treat us with the same mercy we extend to others.
If we don’t extend mercy to others, why should we expect mercy from God or from our fellow human beings?
The Tension Between Forgiveness and Justice
Now, please keep in mind that forgiveness does not erase the need for justice. Seeking justice is not opposed to forgiveness. Rather, justice can be a necessary part of healing and protecting others from harm. Forgiving someone does not mean excusing their actions or allowing them to continue causing damage. Sometimes the most merciful act is to set boundaries, to report wrongdoing, or to step away (temporarily or permanently) from a toxic or dangerous relationship.
Even in those circumstances, forgiveness calls us not to carry hatred in our hearts. We can pursue justice with love rather than vengeance. We can pray for the conversion of those who harmed us, and we can still make sure they face the consequences of their actions.
The Daily Cross of Forgiveness
If forgiveness feels impossible, that’s because it is impossible without God’s grace. We are not asked to do this alone. Forgiveness is part of the Cross we carry as Christians, but it is also where we encounter Christ most deeply. Each time we say “yes” to forgiveness, we unite ourselves to His Passion, Death, and Resurrection.
The fruit is freedom—true freedom. Forgiveness does not change the past, but it changes our hearts. It breaks the chains of bitterness and allows us to breathe again. It brings peace where once there was turmoil.
A Call to Heroism
Erika Kirk’s witness is a modern-day reminder that, even in the most painful of circumstances, forgiveness is possible. We are all called to rise above our natural impulses and embrace heroic virtue. Her “yes” to forgiveness echoes Mary’s “yes” at the Annunciation, Jesus’ “yes” in Gethsemane, and the daily “yes” that every Christian is invited to live.
So, what about us? Who is God asking us to forgive today? Is it a family member who betrayed us, a friend who abandoned us, a stranger who caused harm, an adult who betrayed our trust in some way, or even ourselves?
Forgiveness won’t always come easily. The hurt may resurface again tomorrow, but each day is another opportunity to begin again, to say:
“Jesus, I trust in You. Give me the grace to forgive as You forgive.”
That is heroic virtue. That is what it means to be a Christian.
