Awhile back I saw this quote somewhere, “Your suffering doesn’t have to be inspirational,” and it stuck with me. While others might interpret this differently, here’s how I see it: the lessons you learn, the changes you make, and the perseverance you show to get through hard times isn’t necessarily meant to be shared with everyone. Your scars are beautiful, and God can (and sometimes does) choose to use them to help and inspire others. However, He does not call us to share in a public way.

Most of us know of someone who has a social media following (big or small) whose goal is to inspire others, spread awareness, and/or as an outlet. It’s great when we are able to gain encouragement and inspiration from our brothers and sisters in Christ! Sometimes these individuals and their stories are part of the reason we feel encouraged to acknowledge and address our pain, to seek help, and even to find our own voice. Some blogs, social media pages, books, etc. can be very inspiring. On the other hand, some of us might find others to be discouraging. Some of us might relate really well to some and not others. That’s okay! We’re all different and what works for one might not work for another. 

To be clear, I am not for a moment suggesting that you are meant to live in silence or isolate yourself.

If you have been abused or wronged, please get the help you need! I encourage you to tell your story in some way. However, telling your story does not mean you have to go public and inspire an audience. 

You can choose to acknowledge abuse (or any trauma), report it if necessary, and yet choose to do so privately. You get to choose whether you share or how much your share. Perhaps you are meant to share a chapter of your story. Maybe it will become a part of someone else’s survival guide. On the other hand, maybe what you have suffered isn’t meant to have a public audience. 

I want to encourage you to find your voice if you haven’t already. Finding your voice can be so empowering for you and for others! However, I also want to encourage you to find your voice in the way that works best for you. You don’t have to mean a social media following, write articles, make videos, or anything like that. Everyone is different and the way you use your God-given voice might look different from someone else’s. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you “have” to be like this person or that person. That pressure should never be put on anyone.

Healing is different for everyone. What is empowering and freeing for one might not be for another. Your privacy is valuable, and you should never feel forced to give people the privilege of being invited into your life.

Ask God for the grace to know what He is calling you to do. 

If you feel as if God might be calling you to share your story, ask yourself what your “why” is. Why are you sharing? Is it for you? For others? Both? Is going public bringing you joy and peace? Or is it robbing you of your peace and causing sadness, resentment, and chaos? Also, how much do you feel called to share?

There may be a good reason why God calls you to inspire and validate others. Perhaps your story will help someone else by showing others how His grace has helped you. No one should ever try to take you away from your calling whether that means sharing your voice or not.  

I want you to know that God will bring good from your pain even if you don’t see it and even if you don’t ever develop a public following. Some of the people who have inspired me most on my own healing journey have been individuals who have helped me in their own quiet, private way. 

This week I want to motivate you to concentrate on what you feel called to do especially if you are grappling with the question of whether to share or not to share. You might feel that God is calling you to share one chapter of your life, a few chapters, or no chapters at all. Do what you feel God is calling you to do and keep going. 

2 Responses

  1. This article on “to share or not to share” is excellent. One time I specifically asked a person who helped me about adoption, (I am the birth mother) why some people tell their story.
    She gave me a beautiful answer, it is one of two things, it is a wounding of the heart, or the prompting of the Holy Spirit. Made perfect sense to me. And I share my situation, now when there is the prompting of the Holy Spirit. But I believe you can only do this when you are healed.
    The wounding of the heart, seems to be always seeking that healing.

    The person I spoke to was a leader in the ‘silent no more’ group, and she actually told me she had permission from the Holy Spirit to speak to me as her mandate was for those who had had abortion. She always listened to the Holy Spirit.

    I can certainly understand when some trauma has happened to someone they must find a safe person to tell. This is not what I’m speaking about.

    Thanks for your article. God bless.

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