There’s a disturbing mindset that keeps showing up again and again especially online concerning abuse cases. When stories surface about adult women sexually abusing teenage boys, far too many people (especially men) turn it into a joke. They treat it like some kind of male fantasy fulfilled, a rite of passage, or something the boy should be “grateful” for.
I recently saw two different news stories regarding teenage boys being victimized by predatory adult women. To summarize briefly, one female teacher sent a teenage student nude photos of herself. Another female teacher has been accused of raping a teenage boy.
The comments across social media concerning these tragic and infuriating situations seem too awful to be true.
I’ve seen comments like:
“Where was she when I was in school?”
“Lucky kid.”
“Every boy’s dream.”
“Too bad my teachers were all old nuns when I was in school.”
“The kid should be partly to blame for sleeping with her.”
Responses such as these are vile, pathetic, ignorant, heartless, and dangerous. They also expose a deeply broken way of thinking that minimizes male victims and trivializes abuse.
This is what happens when a culture becomes desensitized to pornography. This is the result of a culture numbed by contraception’s empty “take what you can get” promises, the convenience of abortion. Our society treats innocence and purity as disposable. Too many people (men and women) have allowed themselves to become consumers of lust, detached from truth, and indifferent to evil (unless of course it directly negatively affects them).
Abuse gets sexualized. Victims get silenced and oftentimes blamed. Instead of outrage, people turn exploitation into entertainment. It’s evil.
Abuse is Abuse
Let’s be very clear:
Regardless of who commits it, abuse is abuse.
A child being targeted by an adult is never a joke (neither is an adult being targeted by another adult).
The harm doesn’t lessen because the perpetrator is attractive.
The trauma is real whether the victim is male or female.
A child cannot “want it.” A teenager (male or female) cannot “consent” to being groomed and exploited by an adult in a position of power. Anyone who justifies this kind of abuse because the abuser is “hot” or “looks good” needs a serious reality check (not to mention a moral one).
When people laugh at or try to romanticize these situations in any way, they’re not being edgy or funny. They’re reinforcing the exact toxic double standard that allows victims to be ignored, ridiculed, or dismissed and making it even harder for victims to come forward especially when they are boys and men. They’re contributing to a culture where predators can hide behind society’s blindness.
No one should be making light of abuse.
No one should be turning victims into punchlines.
We need to defend victims of sexual abuse, no matter their gender or age, and we need to condemn predators, no matter how they look and no matter their role or profession.
We cannot tolerate abuse, and we cannot allow these kinds of disgusting reactions. When we hear/see them, we need to call them out bluntly and directly. Abuse isn’t funny. It never was. Anyone who thinks otherwise needs to take a long, hard look in the mirror.
This is about basic human decency and moral clarity. To those of you engaging in this sort of mindset and talk, grow up. Get a spine. Stop being spineless, perverted cowards. You’re not clever or cool. You’re complicit.
