When Prayer Doesn’t Seem to Work

For a person of faith, prayer can be a powerful tool. However, there may be times when prayer doesn’t seem to work. This is especially true for people who have suffered abuse, particularly clerical abuse. I have spoken with many survivors who have prayed for inner peace, strength, and justice. Yet their prayer seems to be met with emptiness and hopelessness. Why is that?

In cases of clerical abuse, clergy are the very people who we should be able to turn to in times of need and yet, when trust has been betrayed in such a big way such as in sexual abuse, survivors may view (not only other priests and religious) but their faith as a whole in a very negative way. Faith can be a powerful healing tool for any survivor, but when a priest uses that faith to gain power and control, it might become one less tool for the survivor to use because it becomes a trigger. Some abusers have even brought God into the abuse and, as a result, the victim feels that they can’t lean on God. God becomes synonymous with the predator since the priest stands in his place. Naturally, turning to God becomes difficult.

Although many victims would ordinarily be able to turn to prayer for comfort and guidance, it instead becomes a painful reminder of abuse. For a long time, my own prayer life was negatively affected as a result of clerical abuse. Not only was I struggling to trust God, but prayer had become painful because of the reminders of the abuse it brought. It was a long time before I was able to rebuild a relationship with God. I chose to persist in prayer despite my uncertainties and discouragement.

While prayer can be helpful for some survivors, it does not always bring about instant comfort or instantaneous results. Prayer also doesn’t necessarily remove the pain and the feelings of guilt survivors experience either. When someone runs to God with their pain, guilt, and shame and is met with (what seems to be) silence, it can be completely disheartening. It’s really hard to think of God as an all-loving Father when our prayers aren’t answered in the timing that we want or in the ways we want.

So why pray? Why bother to communicate with someone we can’t even see?

Whether you realize it or not, God listens! Prayer is effective!

Prayer has to be viewed from a spiritual standpoint. When you try to view it from a human/earthly standpoint, it will seem disappointing. Most of us don’t feel fireworks when praying. As a matter of fact, we might not feel much when praying. Sometimes you are going to feel downright alone, abandoned, and as though you have been left in complete darkness. Even when prayer doesn’t seem to work, it’s helpful to remember that Faith isn’t about feelings. Faith is a choice we make. We choose to trust God and surrender ourselves to Him even when we don’t feel Him.

When prayer doesn’t seem to work, remember this: God does hear your prayers.

God isn’t a puppet to be controlled by us. His ways are different from ours. We won’t always understand how He is answering our prayers. Yet, God is listening, and He is answering them. He does so in His own way and in His own time. There are many stories in the Bible of God coming through as the result of prayer. It’s not always in the ways people expected, but He has always come through.

I am a woman of simple faith and, while I can’t explain the ins and outs of suffering and answer all the “why’s” and “how’s,” I can tell you that God is faithful. He hears our prayers. Even when we feel alone and ignored, the thing to do is keep right on talking to Him. Even when prayer doesn’t seem to work, keep on asking. Persevere in prayer!

While the spiritual benefits are the best reason to pray, did you know that prayer can also have physical and emotional benefits? Prayer can elicit feelings of hope, gratitude, and overall feelings of wellness. Prayer is an opportunity to let it all out – the good, the bad, and the ugly. It can refresh us and can oftentimes reduce stress.

Prayer isn’t about saying the right words.

Prayer is simply talking to God. We can use prayer to thank and praise God, but we can also ask God to intercede for us. Tell Him you need Him. Don’t be afraid to ask for the things you need. You can tell God anything. Prayer is also a fierce weapon to use against all things unholy.

This week I want to motivate you to develop a prayer life if you haven’t already. If you aren’t ready or able, that’s okay. Give it some time. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Please don’t listen to anyone who suggests that you were hurt because you weren’t praying enough! This is so wrong! You don’t need to feel ashamed or guilty if you feel nothing when you do try talking to God. Start small. Do what you can.

The road to healing from trauma isn’t easy. We can’t heal alone. Human help is wonderful and should never be underestimated. However, we are spiritual beings as well as physical beings. We need God’s divine help. Adding God to our journey will make a big difference.

With faith in God and His promises comes hope. Even when prayer doesn’t seem to work, there is always hope!