No more husbands and wives
Under California law, there are no longer husbands and wives. Only spouses. I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so. I have been saying this in debates for some time. A few years ago, I was in a debate at UCLA, with Prof Gary Gates of the Williams Institute. He […]
Did you know? The Pill increases stroke risks as much as smoking.
The Sexual Revolutionaries are in an uproar over the Hobby Lobby decision. The idea that anyone anywhere objects to paying for someone else’s contraception for any reason whatsoever is all it takes to be labeled “anti-woman.” Let’s take a sober-minded look at a serious question: Are contraceptive drugs really pro-woman? A 2012 study[1] of 1.6 […]
Take the Challenge: Remove Sarcasm, Win Prize!
Dr J’s One Week Challenge began on Sunday, July 6! How are you doing with eliminating the Sarcasm from your life? Is it harder than you thought? Easier than you thought? Share the challenge with others. I win send you a prize at the end of the week! All you have to do is tell […]
Take Dr. J’s One Week Challenge: Perform a Sarcasm-ectomy
I hear more stories of messed up families than you can imagine. A lot of pain in the family can be traced back to trivialities that add up: misbehavior or indifference or selfishness. The bad news is that families destroy themselves over trivialities. The good news is that trivialities can be changed! By whom? By […]
Hobby Lobby and The War Among Women
This article was also published at Christianpost.com here. You have no doubt heard that the men of the US Supreme Court are making war on the interests of American women. You may, however, have some doubt as to which interests of which women. I maintain that there has been a War Among Women for the past 50 years or so. And most of the time, the Elite Women prevail over Everywoman. But not this time. Everywoman: embedded within the family / Elite Woman: alone at the top Let me tell you about a friend of mine named Katie. She is a brilliant attorney, who works part-time for a non-profit public interest legal organization. Katie has nine children, whom she homeschools. She lives out in the country in coastal California. By any reasonable reckoning, Katie, is “having it all:” big family, country living in one of the most beautiful places on earth, and meaningful, intellectually challenging work. However, it is safe to say that Katie is highly unlikely to ever be appointed to the Supreme Court. She has other concerns. She does not have the single-minded focus on her legal career that would allow her to be a serious contender. I too, have had a wonderful advantaged life: meaningful work, good family life. But I never chaired an economics department. I never sat on any prestigious commissions. I wasn’t given any political appointment as my childless or male peers have done. Which brings me back to the subject at hand: whose interests do the women on the Supreme Court actually represent? Ruth Bader Ginsburg came of age in the short window of time when women could still get married, have kids, go to law school, and have a career after child-bearing. Her two children were born when she was 22 and 32. Thanks to radical feminism, highly educated women have a much more difficult time doing these things. They can go to law school and have a career alright. But getting married and having children sometime before menopause, not so much. Justice Ginsburg had the lifelong support of her husband in her career aspirations. Thanks to
Did You Know? The Pill Doubles the Risk of Glaucoma
The long-term use of oral contraception doubles a woman’s risk of glaucoma and other eye diseases. You never heard this before? Listen to this press releasefrom the American Academy of Ophthalmology: NEW ORLEANS – Nov. 18, 2013 – Research presented today, at the 117th Annual Meeting of the American Academy of Ophthalmology in New Orleans, […]
Dr J on Relevant Radio on Tuesday
I will be discussing this story tomorrow on Relevant Radio with Drew Mariani, at 12:15 Pacific Time. More than half of millennial women aged 26 to 31 who have babies are either unmarried or single instead of part of a married couple, according to a recent study from Johns Hopkins University. Fifty-seven percent of children […]
Did You Know? British women hoping to sue Big Pharma over contraception
The Sexual Revolutionaries are predictably upset by the recent Supreme Court decision in the Hobby Lobby. So this is a good time to consider the question of whether contraception really is health care in any meaningful sense. Hormonal contraception interrupts a perfectly natural process in perfectly healthy women. Pregnancy is not an illness or injury […]
The Sexual State: Waiting for the Hobby Lobby ruling
As we await the Supreme Court’s decision on the Hobby Lobby case and the Mt. Soledad Cross case, we should recall the purpose of our government. Ah, you supposed that the purpose of the government was to protect people from force or fraud? Maybe you thought the purpose of the government was form a more […]
Against religious liberty (arguments)
I like religious liberty just fine, thank you very much. But I must say, I am tired of hearing the pro-family movement making religious liberty their primary argument against the Sexual Revolution. Too many of us have done this with the HHS Mandate (which amounts to creating a Contraceptive State) and Gay Marriage (which amounts […]
Gay Parenting: A whole new batch of Victims of the Sexual Revolution
Every stage of the Sexual Revolution has produced victims. No-fault divorce produced children scarred in ways no one predicted in 1968. “Kids are resilient: they will be fine as long as their parents are happy.” No-fault divorce also produced The Reluctantly Divorced: those millions of unseen and unacknowledged souls who wanted to stay married, but […]
The New Class Warfare: "All we want to do…"
Allow me to point out a pattern in the promotion of the Sexual Revolution: All we want to do is lower the cost of divorce to the handful of people whose marriages have irretrievably broken down. All we want to do is allow abortion for cases of rape and incest. All we want to do is allow […]
Philippine Phertility Phacts
In my last post, I asked, “Where are the libertarians when we need them?” (Metaphorically, by asking about Libertarian icon, Murray Rothbard.) I was looking at the truly appalling Reproductive Health Bill, foisted on the people of the Republic of the Philippines, by the United Nations Population Fund, aided and abetted by the United States government. When the government is taking such a heavy-handed approach to “reproductive health” as to insist on a “Certificate of Compliance” before couples can get married, or to mandate “age-appropriate” sex education, one naturally wonders: what is the problem this legislation is designed to solve? Is there an over-population crisis in the Philippines? The Philippine Archipelago What are the facts? In the Philippines, the Total Fertility Rate is (are you sitting down? Are you ready for this shocking over-breeding? Drum roll…..) 3.06 births per woman. In the US, the TFR is 2.01 births per woman, considered to be exactly “replacement” fertility. Let’s take some additional factors into account. The typical “demographic transition” works like this. In pre-modern societies, families have children to help on the farm and care for parents in their old age. People tend to give birth to more children than they may ultimately want, because they expect some of those children to not survive until adulthood. When the infant and child mortality rates decline due to better health care, people begin having fewer children. Somehow, women and their families figured this out, some centuries ago, even without hormonal contraception, and even without the UN Population Fund looking over their shoulders. So, what is the infant mortality rate in the Philippines? Within the first year of life, 17.64 children die per 1,000 live births. For the sake of comparison, the infant mortality rate in the United States is a mere 6. 17 deaths per thousand live births. In the Philippine flag, blue stands for peace and justice, red symbolizes courage, the white equal-sided triangle represents equality. Where are
Where is Murray Rothbard when we need him?
Quick: what are the legitimate activities of government, according to libertarians? Usually, libertarians will mention a short like including things like national defense, criminal justice, protection of property rights. Some, such as Murray Rothbard, are anarcho-capitalists and believe even these traditional functions of government could and should be handled by the private sector. Where, then were the libertarians when the United States supported efforts to impose the “Reproductive Health Bill”on the Republic of the Philippines? This bill mandates that all school children receive Age- and Development-Appropriate Reproductive Health Education. – The State shall provide age- and development-appropriate reproductive health education to adolescents which shall be taught by adequately trained teachers informal and nonformal educational system and integrated in relevant subjects such as, but not limited to, values formation; knowledge and skills in self-protection against discrimination; sexual abuse and violence against women and children and other forms of gender based violence and teen pregnancy; physical, social and emotional changes in adolescents; women’s rights and children’s rights; responsible teenage behavior; gender and development; and responsible parenthood. How did Sex Ed make it on the Short List of acceptable and mandated governmental activities? The bill continues: No marriage license shall be issued by the Local Civil Registrar unless the applicants present a Certificate of Compliance issued for free by the local Family Planning Office certifying that they had duly received adequate instructions and information on responsible parenthood, family planning, breastfeeding and infant nutrition. The State must explain the Facts of Life, and how modern contraception can subvert said Facts of Life, before people are allowed to get married. Hummm. Doesn’t sound like the Night Watchman State to me…. An earlier versionof the bill mandated that The State shall assist couples, parents and individuals to achiev
Too Bad They Didn’t Realize This 40 Years Ago…
by CTW (Illinois) 1973 – two years before the divorce My parents divorced when I was 9 years old. I’ve written 2 brief reflections on my experiences and contributed them to this site: http://www.marriage-ecosystem.org/the-myth-of-divorce-as-the-way-to-solve-all-your-problems.html http://www.marriage-ecosystem.org/turned-out-all-right.html And now I have an addendum. My dad’s third wife passed away a few months ago (in early 2014). In […]
Their divorce nearly killed me
Growing up in suburban Philadelphia, the daughter of two yuppies, it seemed like I had everything. I was pretty sheltered, a shy child by nature and nurture. The later cause of my introverted nature was the fact that my parents avoided verbal communication with each other. The only time I remember them directly talking to […]
Missing Father, Missing Time
by Shannon (Texas) I was fairly young when my parents divorced, six. It was rough on my brother and I. My dad kidnapped me and brought me to court. He asked me to lie about my mother in hope that he would attain custody, that did not happen. My parents fought a lot and I […]
Let’s listen to the Children of Divorce
“I’m so glad you are doing this, Jenny. But I cannot write about my experience. It is still too painful.” “This” refers to the Ruth Institute’s Kids Divorce Stories initiative. This completely free and open feature gives people a chance to talk about their childhood experiences going through their parents’ divorces. People talk about what […]
A Right to a Father: In honor of Father’s Day.
It is Father’s Day. For me, this is a day to be grateful for my father, for all he did for me, my mother and my brothers and sisters. I am grateful for how he went to work every day, came home every night, and stayed married to my mother for a lifetime. Most of […]
Evacuation from Dunkirk: a continuation of my open letter to San Diego Social Conservatives
My first letter drew some discussion on my Facebook page. That is great. I am glad. Kirk Jorgenson is not the subject of discussion here. I like Kirk. He ran a good and honorable campaign. A lot of you worked hard for him. I respect that. Evacuation at Dunkirk June 1940 But now that particular battle is over. We have metaphorically evacuated from Dunkirk. We are safely in the British Isles. Let us regroup and think about our next move.
Come Follow Who?
A few years ago, I was asked to give the commencement address at Providence Academy High School in Plymouth MN. I wanted to support the young people in their individuality, as well as in their following Jesus. This is a short excerpt from what I said those high school seniors. “Have you ever noticed […]
After the Party: An Open Letter to Social Conservatives in San Diego and Beyond
On June 3, 2014, Kirk Jorgenson, came in third in a run-off style primary election for the 52nd Congressional District. He obtained 17% of the vote. Jorgenson had been the favorite of the Social Conservative community in San Diego. OK, San Diego Cultural Conservatives. Kirk Jorgenson lost his runoff race for the 52nd Congressional District. Can we talk now?
Spiritual Mothers and Fathers
A few years ago, I was asked to give the commencement address at Providence Academy High School in Plymouth MN. I wanted to support the young men and women in their maleness and femaleness. This is a short excerpt from what I said to those high school seniors. “The first thing I know about you […]
Taylor Swift: Another Victim of the Sexual Revolution
The Entertainment Media Establishment, Gossip Division, is reporting that Taylor Swift gave her virginity to a man she thought was going to marry her. Three months later, she had a party for herself, and he didn’t show up. This took place at Christmastime of 2010. I don’t know exactly why The Entertainment Media Establishment, Gossip Division […]
Dissecting Sexual Revolutionary Propaganda
As I have said many times in my speeches (available at the Ruth Institute podcast page), the Sexual Revolution is irrational and its goals are impossible. Therefore, those committed to the Sexual Revolution must also commit themselves to a steady stream of propaganda to over-write the basic facts of reality. This sometimes includes the subtle […]
Did You Know?
Did you know that about 45% of women who had abortions in the US in 2010, had already had at least one prior abortion? Look it up here. Table 19. 55% of women had zero prior abortions. 100%-55%= 45% of women had one or more prior abortions. Just thought you’d want to know.
The Equality Battering Ram
Brendan Eich has just resigned as CEO of Mozilla, maker of one of the most popular web browsers. He made a $1,000 donation to Proposition 8, back in 2008, an insubstantial sum really, to a campaign that is 6 years old. The Gay Lobby, the current shock troops of the Sexual Revolution, demanded his resignation, […]
"Gay" is A Social Construct
So say the historians who have actually studied the concept. Oh yes, same sex sexual activity has been around since antiquity. But the idea that someone would call themselves “gay” or would see that as the primary basis of their identity: that is something new. “Scholars don’t think the ancient Greeks had a gay minority. […]
The Rich and Famous Love the Commercialization of Childbearing
Don’t believe me? Check out this conference, to be held in a few days, at UCLA. Actress Elisabeth Rohm, “Guncles” Scout And Bill Masterson, Brenda Strong, Actor Jason Patric Share Journey To Parenthood Fertility Planit LA 2014 is the first event of its kind, helping people explore all of their options for having children and […]
Just terrible
by Mia So when I was four months old, my mom go diagnosed with CML. My dad kept on going to New York for work. When he was working on a movie he had sex with the girl who is 18 years younger than him. My mom found out when the baby was born. My […]
Victims of the Sexual Revolution: Children in Poverty
The Christian Post reports that 2 parent families offer the best hope of rising out of poverty. Referring to a major study produced by the Harvard Economics Department, poor children who live in communities with a large proportion of single parents are more likely to remain poor even when they are raised by their married […]
Divorce Never Ends for Children
by Ryan (Midwest, USA) Based on my personal experience, and what I’ve observed knowing dozens of people with divorced parents, it is my belief that there is no divorce that does not severely damage a child and set them back for their entire life. Some divorces are necessary, as in cases of abuse or addiction […]
Finally, Justice for a Donor Conceived Child
The Craig’s List sperm donor has to pay child support. I’ve been keeping an eye on this case for a while. The facts are unusually crass. A lesbian “couple” wanted to have a baby. They advertised on Craig’s List for a donor. (Pause. Let that sink in. Gross, eh?) Anyhow, the man replied to […]
Now that Republican Consultants are waking up to the marriage issue….
Now that the Republican Consultants are waking up and seeing that marriage matters, the “Progressives” are reacting precisely on cue, for instance, with this story: “Promoting marriage among single mothers: An ineffective weapon in the war on poverty?” The Usual Suspects discover that urging people to get married won’t solve all their poverty problems. But […]
Magnificat San Diego
(November 16, 2013) Dr J is the speaker at the San Diego Catholic Women’s Magnificat Breakfast. She gave a talk on "Healing the 21st Century Family", and her own testimony encompassing family, the sexual revolution, economics, marriage, and healing.
I fear having a family so much that I probably won’t
by Noah (Baltimore) My parents were allegedly a common law marriage, but the state they lived in didn’t recognize common law marriage at the time, so far as I can tell. They were hippies, my father was a drunk and a junkie, my mother left him when I was 2 and my brother 4. My […]
Argument Club for Women: Dr J &, Rabbi Marcia Zimmerman
(October 1, 2013) Dr J travels to the Twin Cities to participate in a debate sponsored by the Argument Club for Women. Up for discussion: "Is Opposition to Same-Sex Marriage a Form of Bigotry?", I bet you can guess which side Dr J is arguing. On the other side is Rabbi Marcia Zimmerman, senior rabbi at Temple Israel of Minneapolis. Dr. Deborah Savage, co-founder of the Siena Symposium, moderates. The debate will start around 9 minutes 40 seconds–there’s a bit of an explanation about what the ACW does first.
No easy solution
My mom needed to divorce my dad. He had been physically abusive for years. Eventually he committed adultery. While my mother felt totally betrayed, there was a part of her that was glad she finally felt no one could expect her to stay married to him. That was when I was 13. Now I’m an […]
The Parents Move On, But the Children Suffer Forever….
by Cindy (Pennsylvania) I was born in 1967. My parents were on the cutting edge of society then. My mother had become a career woman in 1961, when my brother was an infant. There were no daycares, only grandmas. Even after I was born, my mother wanted little to do with marriage and family. My […]
Electric Dog Collars, Home Economics and the American Enterprise
Have you ever seen a dog race up to the boundary of a yard, and abruptly stop? It looks very odd, until you realize that the dog is wearing a fancy collar. You surmise that there is an invisible electric “fence” embedded in the yard. The dog has been shocked so often that it stops […]
Light in the Storm
I remember watching from an upstairs bedroom window my father walking because my mother had tossed him out of the house. He had no where to go. I put my hand on the glass as a way of feeling that pain of him leaving. My father was sick due to Agent Orange. I was screaming […]
2nd class citizen in my own family
by Second class citizen (USSA) I was the eldest child in step family situations on both sides. It was like being a second class citizen in my own family. On my mother’s side, a new child was born, and the entire family revolved around this new child. On my dad’s side, he remarried women who […]
Turned Out All Right?
by CTW (Illinois) My mom denies how painful the divorce was for my brothers and I. Once we grew up, she openly mocked the statistics demonstrating poorer outcomes for children whose parents divorced, because we didn’t suffer any of the social pathologies to which we were statistically more susceptible: none of us ended up in […]
The issues are legion
There are too many sufferings in my life to list. Two things I would say are: Divorce and one remarriage ruined every holiday family gathering for me because parents or siblings pressured me to attend. I can’t be in two places at the same time, and parents would be angry or saddened because they knew […]
"The kids will be fine if the adults are happy…"
by Anono-Mama (Planet Earth) I am the child of divorce. My parents divorced when I was about three, and I was bounced back and forth between their households my entire childhood. There were several things that were and still are very painful. My mom later remarried. I loved my step dad a lot, but when […]
Divorce for good reason
by army brat (America) My father came home from a deployment and had found me (a toddler) bruised after being abused by my mother. He took me, and left, and ultimately gained full custody (in the south, at a time when males receiving full custody was unheard of). We were financially wrecked, and although we […]
Gifts for them but not me
by sigh (Boston, MA) One time my step dad came home from a trip. We were all excited to see him, and he had some gifts. Two gifts, to be exact. One for my mother. One for my sister (his daughter). They both opened the boxes in front of me. Inside were matching jackets, a […]
The myth of divorce as the way to solve all your problems
by CTW My parents divorced when I was 9… …and proceeded to continue to fight with one another for my entire childhood and into my adult life. My own marriage also ended in divorce, and yet the conflict has continued for the past 12 years and is likely to continue at least until the youngest […]
"Understanding Same-Sex Parenting Studies", ~ Dr. Mark Regnerus @ ITAF ’13
(June 1, 2013) Welcome to ITAF! It Takes a Family to Raise a Village is Ruth Institute’s annual student conference. Up next is Dr. Mark Regnerus’s second talk, "Understanding Same-Sex Parenting Studies.", Q&A session is available on the Ruth Refuge. Listen Also check out Mark’s first lecture, "Pre-Marital Sex in America: The Social Science Evidence on Why Hooking Up Doesn’t Make People Happy;", its Q&A is available on the Ruth Refuge.
"Pre-Marital Sex in America: The Social Science Evidence on Why Hooking Up Doesn’t Make People Happy", ~ Dr. Mark Regnerus @ ITAF ’13
(May 31, 2013) Welcome to ITAF, Ruth Institute’s annual student conference! We’re in the midst of podcasting the lectures from the event. Up next is Dr. Mark Regnerus’s talk, "Pre-Marital Sex in America: The Social Science Evidence on Why Hooking Up Doesn’t Make People Happy.", Q&A session coming up in the next podcast.
Family and Citizenship
(April 12, 2013) Dr J travels to Grove City, Pennsylvania, to speak at Grove City College’s Vision &, Values Conference on The Government’s Duty to Marriage. She also takes questions after the talk–check out our Ruth Refuge for those.
Divorce for "unchastity", or so they claim…
by Rebekah (Michigan) When I was young I used to tell people that I was glad my parents weren’t together. When probed further I could only fall back to the fact that I had hardly remembered them together and that they seemed so different from one another. I would then try to highlight their vast […]
Jumping Ship After Raising the Kids
My parents divorced after 29 years of marriage. Their children, including myself, were all over the age of 18. My mother said that she waited until we were all out of the house to leave, because we would not be affected so much. She was wrong. Many of our extended family members said, “If that […]
my parents divorced when i was 39
by Stephanie (Canada) They had been married so long! They had three children and at that time, 21 grandchildren. It had been hard between them forever, but seemed to get worse every year. My mom mocked me for being distressed past six weeks – she said “You knew this was coming”. Well, yes and no. […]
Lost Identity
The earliest memory I have of my natural family is when I was two or three years old. I remember lying on my father’s shirtless back while he did pushups. After he finished his exercises, my mother used tweezers to pluck stray hairs out of his back. It is a personal memory, one of many […]
Legal Issues and a Lifetime of Stress
My parent’s divorce could potentially be the cause of my depression, anxiety, OCD, social anxiety, and schizophrenia. Things got quite bad in a way you might not expect. There was no hitting or drinking involved. I was born to my parents when they were dating. The two had been in love throughout high school, and […]
Trying to Outrun the Curse
My parents got divorced as I was entering high school. I generally say it hit my younger brother the hardest. I think that’s just because his reaction was more outward. My dad is on wife #3. Hopefully, she’s the final one. My mom didn’t remarry. She viewed it as her keeping her vow, since my […]
Dads new baby
by Madison (Las Vegas ) Isabelle When I was younger my biological mother thought she couldn’t get pregnant until she got me. I’m the oldest if a younger sister (2 years ) and my biological parents divorced when I was 4. My mom found a new person. A great one! And moved to Las Vegas […]
Ruth Institute President Responds to Mischaracterization of Her Remarks to Catholic Student Retreat
“I would be happy to meet with Tyler Clementi’s mom and dad to try to move forward and go beyond the highly charged rhetoric that doesn’t help anyone.” — Dr. Morse, Ruth Institute — San Diego, CA — Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse, President of the Ruth Institute issued the following statement today: “The media and activists […]
Great Books on the Subject of Divorce and Children
by Thomas M. Loarie (Danville, CA, USA) I became a single parent of a 13 year old son and a ten year old daughter when my wife of 16 years decided to pursue a “new” life 400 miles away from our home. I spent a great deal of time and money doing what I could […]
The cascade of generations of divorces
by Janet (New York) I am the child of multiple generations of multiple divorces. Both of my grandmothers, who were born around 1900, were divorced twice. My mother was divorced twice, and so was my father. I’m not sure about my grandfathers; I think one was divorced twice. I grew up thinking marriage was a […]
Catholic Cyclone student retreat
(February 17, 2013) Dr J’s in Iowa at the moment, this is her talk to a group of Catholic students from Iowa State. They discussed marriage, family, careers, and children, among other things. Dr J also took questions afterward–check out the next podcast for that part of the session. The Ruth Institute is gearing up for its annual conference, It Takes a Family to Raise a Village, in San Diego. This year’s conference runs from May 30 to June 3. Application deadline is March 15. To find out more and to apply, visit www.ruthinstitute.org/ITAF13.
So it is My Fault
by Nicholas (California) My mother left because she was “not happy.” It was a simple answer, but it changed how I saw myself and everything else consequently. She said she had me out of wedlock, and back then felt pressured to marry, and no longer wished to stay with a man (my father) whom she […]
A Living Death
by Sean (Nova Scotia) I was born late in 1964. Gen-X leaning late Boomer, I guess. My father had severe mental illness & self-medicating drug & alcohol abuse. From his mid-20s, he was on a downward bipolar/ psychosis spiral which slowly shredded his marriage, and the life of his wife and three kids. Sadly, because […]
Enemy of Children
First, I never knew my biological father. But the pain from that didn’t come until later. My mom’s husband was there for me from birth until age 8. He was my dad. There is video footage of me telling him I loved him, so perhaps I sincerely did. But my memories of him now are […]
Lives in ruination.
by Still Paying for the trauma. I was 8yo when I first found out my parents absolutely hated each other. They argued & fought late @ night after they thought we were asleep. Being the oldest & female I sided with my mother against my dad, who had only ever been a father by name […]
My Family Photo Makes Me Feel Guilty
I have two photographs of my parents and me. One is a candid shot, in color, taken by my great grandfather right after I was born. My dad is holding me and smiling at the camera. My mom is looking down at me and smiling, with her beautiful blonde hair bundled in the “beehive” style […]
What should I call this man?
by JVW (NC) I distinctly remember when I was 5, trying to figure out what to call the man my mom had married. I knew my dad was supposed to be called dad, but this man was around me every day, always here, and my dad was only around from 12:30-5 every Sunday with a […]