This is just a reminder that grooming and sexual abuse know no boundaries. The person sitting next to you in church, on the train, or walking by you in the grocery story could be a victim of sexual abuse and you might never know it. Sexual abuse doesn’t discriminate based on age, appearance, race, gender, etc. Sadly, it is a universal issue that can impact men and women of all ages, young children, babies, teenagers, the elderly, and people of any religion or ethnicity.
Grooming, a manipulative process where an abuser builds trust and emotional connection with a victim with the purpose of abusing them, can happen to anyone. The frightening reality is that no one is immune to the threat of sexual abuse, and victims are never to blame.
Most often, victims are groomed and then abused. Grooming usually takes place in situations where the predator (the groomer) is in a higher level of power than the victim. Predators will exploit any vulnerabilities in a person in order to abuse them. They use psychological manipulation to isolate their victim, even causing the victim to doubt their own perceptions. This is one of the reasons why victims feel so feel powerless to seek help.
Abuse is never a victim’s fault.
Abuse is never a victim’s fault, but this is a fact that society often struggles to accept. Too many people believe harmful myths and stereotypes and blame victims for their abuse. They question a victim’s actions and suggest they could have prevented it. These harmful misconceptions and assumptions can prevent victims from coming forward and seeking the support they need.
In reality, the responsibility for abuse lies solely with the abuser, who deliberately exploits their power to manipulate and harm.
Anyone who thinks that victims “asked for” or “wanted” to be abused needs to pause and rethink their point of view. The whole point of a predator using grooming techniques is to deceive his/her victims. Predators follow a playbook that usually falls under the radar. They use gaslighting and other manipulative techniques to brainwash their victims. By the time a victim becomes the victim, it’s too late. They are already ensnared in the trap.
Being naive or inexperienced also doesn’t mean a victim was looking to be abused.
Being groomed so someone can exploit you is a soul-shattering experience. It is psychologically, physically, and spiritually damaging. Grooming and abuse spoil a victim’s sense of trust and confuses his/her innate ability to defend himself/herself. This needs to be taken seriously. More people need to educate themselves on the issue so that victims can get the help and support they need.
We need to shift from victim-blaming to holding abusers accountable in all situations. Too many people assume to “know better” or make naive judgments claiming, “this is what you should have done.” Predators set abuse up so a victim feels they are trapped – a victim has no chance. Because that’s what predators do.
Victims are not to blame.
