Entering into the New Year with Simple, Manageable Goals
As we enter into this new year, I just want to remind you that it’s okay to slow down and approach the year with small steps. Sometimes the smallest steps can lead to the biggest changes.
Each new year we are hit with many suggestions to better our lives. People resolve to lose weight, start exercising, eat better, declutter their homes, read a certain number of books, travel, etc. Resolutions such as these aren’t bad. As a matter of fact, making personal goals can be very helpful and healthy! However, when we are being bombarded with a near constant push to create big goals in particular, it can get overwhelming especially if we are already contending with a lot of stress especially stress caused by trauma.
Dreading the New Year
Having suffered several traumas within the span of a few years when I was a teenager, I used to dread the new year. My somber thought on New Year’s Eve was always, “What’s going to happen to me this year?”
For a long time, I was hyper-focused on the negative. This was only natural considering all the negative stuff I was going through. It seemed like one thing after another. I was stuck in “victim mode.” I understood why I was living with that mindset, but I also recognized that continuing down that path would not have been healthy.
Focusing on Small Goals
Instead of focusing on big goals or anything that seemed too overwhelming (and, believe me, I was easily overwhelmed at the time), I started simple, slow, and small.
I slowly worked on improving my victim mentality through hard work and perseverance. I learned to be mindful of my thought processes, to incorporate gratitude into my everyday life, and to use my faith as a key component in the healing process. These small things were accomplished by making simple, small, achievable goals that ultimately led to a larger goal of healing and becoming a stronger person.
Some examples of these small goals:
Drinking more water everyday
Moving my body for a few minutes a day
Fining one thing to be grateful for everyday
Beginning and ending each day with a prayer
I started taking life moment by moment and tried not to look too far ahead. The goals I just mentioned were manageable for me. During a time when I felt physically and emotionally exhausted and easily discouraged, meeting small goals such as these helped me to feel accomplished. This gave me a much-needed boost and helped me to keep plugging along day by day through trauma and grief. Small goals and small changes helped me to heal from sexual abuse and the sudden death of my brother. It helped me fight through a trial, cancer, and a heart condition (among other things).
I’m not going to lie, healing has been a slow process, one that has evolved over time. It has taken time and a whole lot of patience. However, simple, small steps have led to big changes and helped me to reach bigger goals over time.
This year, aim for small steps.
As we continue in this new year, I want to encourage you to focus on taking small steps.
If making a long list of big goals you want to accomplish, then have at it! If not, that’s okay too! It really is okay to simplify. It’s okay if your biggest goal right now is just getting out of bed each morning and facing each day. Taking each day moment by moment is totally okay and totally reasonable especially if that’s all you can handle right now.
Just remember that no matter what your situation is in life and no matter where you are God is with you always and He will be with you in the coming year. Even when you don’t feel it, even when you feel alone, God is with you. He is helping you carry your crosses, small step by small step.
By the way, don’t forget to celebrate the small steps you take. Celebrate your victories no matter how small!
Healing isn’t a race, and it doesn’t happen overnight. Small, manageable goals can help you on your path to healing, peace, and freedom. I want to motivate you to start small in this new year. Take the time you need, take little steps, trust in God’s grace and mercy, and hold onto the hope that you can and will experience joy, peace, and freedom.
Do you have a question about victimization and/or healing? Email me at AskASurvivor@ruthinstitute.org. Your name and personal information will never be used in my public responses.