The Catholic Church has been challenged to say the least. Scandal after scandal has reared its ugly head due to the failings of people. Speaking as a survivor of clerical abuse, the scandals within the church have been horrifying. That’s putting it mildly. However, I have made the choice to remain a practicing Catholic.
Easily the most common question I get is,
“Why are you still Catholic despite being a victim of clerical abuse?”
I’m going to answer this as honestly and simply as possible. Here are the reasons most important to me:
- I am still Catholic because I believe that Jesus left us the Catholic Church. My faith has never been about the people who run the institution. Although, let’s face it, good, holy, trustworthy leaders can make a difference! Despite all the flaws of the people side of things, I do my best to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus.
- I am Catholic because of the sacraments. As a Catholic, I believe in the True Presence. I believe that we receive Jesus Himself in the Eucharist (His body, blood, soul, and divinity). I believe in the sacramental life of the church and in the tremendous graces that flow from the sacraments. I have worked hard to overcome my own personal triggers so that I can receive the sacraments on a regular basis. The graces that I have received from them have been insurmountable.
- As a survivor of clerical abuse, I have seen the worst side of some priests – key word being some. Not all priests are bad. As a matter of fact, most of the priests I have been privileged to know over the course of my life have been good, holy men. I have no doubt that their prayers and example have helped me to remain a practicing Catholic. The “good guys” have shown me that there are good, holy, virtuous priests willing to sacrifice so much for their flock. We hear about the bad guys because they make the news. The good ones don’t make the news quite as often.
- The church is my home. I know other survivors may feel differently about this and I can understand why. We should be able to expect better of the Catholic Church. The sad reality is that people are imperfect, and they can and do fail. Since I believe in the Catholic Church, I want to help it to recover and grow. I don’t feel that my leaving would help. Admittedly, I have been on the brink of leaving many times. Personally, I would feel as if I was abandoning my family.
- I am still Catholic because of the good, holy examples of certain people in my life. I already mentioned priests, but my husband, parents and some close family friends have been just as influential, and I have a solid support system in place. Sadly, not all survivors have received the same support.
There you have it: the main reasons why I am still a Catholic despite being a victim of clerical abuse. At times life outside the church seems like it would be easier (less stressful anyway). Going to Mass and receiving the sacraments is still not easy by any stretch. My faith has certainly been shaken but I refuse to let the failures of other human beings take more away from me than has already been taken.
In summary, I have not remained a Catholic because its members or leaders are perfect. That kind of perfection doesn’t exist anywhere. Personally, I have found my home and the sacraments, traditions, saints, the various devotions, etc. have such a pull on my heart that I cannot leave. Despite the flaws of the people, I am determined to fight to remain in the faith I believe to be true no matter how painful it is. Believe me, it’s painful! Not everyone is going to understand this (that’s okay!) but by the grace of God and with much support, I have reached a place where I view it as an honor to endure the suffering imposed by the institution for the sake of the One who died for me. I believe that this is His Church, and I would fight to the death to defend it.
I am only one survivor out of many, and this is the path I have chosen to take. Not everyone walking in shoes similar to mine has chosen the same path. There are many reasons for this, and I believe that no survivor should be harshly judged for their choices. In a couple of weeks, I will be following this post up with some further thoughts on why survivors choose to leave the Catholic Church and I’ll be offering some advice on how not to treat clerical abuse survivors. Stay tuned!
