I recently got this message from a Facebook friend.
Just so you know, I would “like” and “share” all the divorce stories that you’re posting- only it would compromise some family relationships I have that I am responsible for. God is good and has afforded much forgiveness and reconciliation- I do not want to challenge their faith or give away hard earned ground. I just wanted to let you know I’m paying attention, even if there is no evidence of it. That means others are probably doing the same. Keep the faith!!
Here is my response to her. What do you think about this issue?
Thank you my friend. This means a lot to me. I hope you are right that others are quietly paying attention.
I sense that you are concerned that your loved ones are not ready to look too closely at the harms their divorces caused others. You want to keep them close to you and to God. You do not want to drive them away with more reality than they can stand.
I understand. You may very well be correct about this in this particular instance. I trust your judgment.
I’m just guessing here, but maybe this is a situation of a divorce now regretted? Or a divorce that caused harm to others, perhaps a child, and that looking at that harm would be too painful? After all, the idea that we might have hurt our own child is for most parents, a thought too painful to endure. No one wants to think of themselves as perpetrators of some injury, especially to a child.
So let me plant this thought in your mind. Think about the injured person. Would they benefit from having some acknowledgement from you that they have been hurt? Would they gain some relief from knowing that someone in the family who loves all the parties, recognizes that some wrong has been done to them? The parent need not even be involved in the conversation.
Perhaps you can give them that. Something to ponder.
Ruth Readers: What do you think about this issue? Join the discussion at our Facebook page.
