Ok, so I am slightly biased. This is my daughter. But, in my defense: 1. she attended ITAF2010 2. she makes valid points about the anxiety of social
conservatives about the Romney ticket and 3. this is pretty darn funny. Enjoy!
Veep Watch
By Anne Morse
The rumors swirl around who Mitt Romney’s potential VP pick. The news and blogosphere exploded the other week with whispers that Condoleeza Rice will be
picked. Many liked Rice as an option because she would squash the empty race arguments that distract from real policy questions. Others disliked
her as a nominee, because although she would balance the ticket on with both race and gender, she would continue to skew the ticket away from social
conservatives. I personally liked the idea of her running because then us frugal conservatives could continue to eat Rice-a-Roni and name it Rice-a-Romney
in solidarity, as we tighten our belts with Obama’s economy.
Unfortunately, Rice has stated that she will not accept a VP nomination, and the list of potentials grows. There are a lot of old white men and awkward
social conservatives on the list. Fortunately, for the United States, I would accept a nomination to the Vice Presidency. Although I am white, I am
a woman, and would therefore balance the ticket. I also go to UC Berkeley, which might confuse liberals. I focus my scholarly studies and activism
in politics on the pro-life movement, and would therefore solidify
the unhappy social conservatives who are not excited about Romney, but do have nightmares about a second Obama term. My social conservatism would excite
social conservatives the way Sarah Palin fired up the base in 2008. I don’t have any pregnant children, (nor indeed any children at all), and I can
list all the publications I get my news from. Not to brag, but I am also pretty cute. All the young people who vote based on 30-second television ads
would “connect” to me since even though Obama plays basketball, I go to summer rock concerts and wear sweat pants to lecture. Seriously, how could
you not vote for this? Some might argue that there is a constitutional problem with my being VP, since I am not 35, but only 20. Although I could just
say my birth certificate says I am 35, and then refuse to show it, my best argument to counter the constitutional complainers is that my unconstitutionality
would provide powerful incentives for persons to not assassinate the president. I’m pretty sure that’s why Biden was picked to be
VP. Everyone knows that if anything happens to Obama, Biden is our alternative. That’s a great incentive to make Obama eat his broccoli. Seriously
though, are we supposed to believe that they picked an old, white guy to balance the ticket? I don’t think so.
Thus, I will make a great Vice President. I can also read a teleprompter and kiss babies. Indeed, I am known in my neighborhood for being a great baby
sitter. What more could Romney want? Why would I accept such a nomination when I have so much else going for me? I can easily fit the campaign
into my schedule since I’m about to graduate from UC Berkeley and we get lots of protest days off when the communists occupy our lecture halls. I
also love my country. At a personal and practical level, the job market stinks for new college graduates so getting paid to hang out in
DC for the next few years sounds wonderful. Governor Romney, after careful consideration, I accept.
