By Faith Hakesley
Something I have learned through, not only my own experience, but the experiences of others, is that speaking up about injustices done to you or others is tough. Whether you are a whistleblower regarding particular issues or you are coming forward about abuse in order to take down a predator, your cross is not an easy one to carry. There is power in speaking up, but it requires God’s gifts of wisdom, strength, courage, humility, and perseverance.
The Power of Virtue When Speaking Up
The gift of speech and the ability to express ourselves through our words is one of God’s many gifts to the human race. We have the ability to think, to reason, to communicate our thoughts and experiences to others, and to express wrong from right. We can help and encourage others with our words and actions. Our words (whether they are written or spoken) hold tremendous power. When the truth is spoken in love, our words have the potential to lift people up and make a difference for ourselves and others. When we speak deceitfully or out of malice, our words can destroy lives including our own.
Virtue plays a powerful role in choosing to speak up.
Wisdom helps you to determine whether you should speak up, what/how much you should share, and with whom.
Strength gives you the power to do what you need to do. We need God’s strength to do deeds that often seem impossible.
Faith and trust in God are also necessary. Let’s face it, we are not all blessed with the ability to communicate well with others. By having faith placing your trust in God and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide you, you can be assured that you will be to articulate what needs to be communicated in a way that people understand and in a way that resonates with others.
We need courage to boldly speak the truth. Having courage doesn’t mean we won’t be afraid. Rather, it means doing what we are called to do in spite of our fear. Speaking up also requires sacrifice, and we need courage to face those sacrifices. This leads us into the virtue of humility.
When we speak up, we open ourselves up to mockery, shame, blame. As “right” as you might be, you have to humble yourself to realize that not everyone will have your back. Not everyone is going to believe you and not everyone will support you. There will be people who want you silenced. You need the gift of humility when speaking up.
I want to focus on humility a little bit more. Something I have come across many times is attention-getting behaviors. Someone may mean well when coming forward and desire to help others, but that can all too easily change into an addiction of sorts. Survivors or anyone speaking up can begin to crave attention and validation. This is especially true on social media. When they don’t receive the validation they seek (perhaps unconsciously so), they might feel hurt, confused, angry, and even vengeful. This is not healthy. The best remedy for this hurt is embracing God’s gift of humility and placing your worth in God’s eyes and not in the eyes of the world.
Finally, you need perseverance. No matter what – whether you are supported and believed or not – you need perseverance to keep going even when the going gets rough.
Speaking out Against an Institution
Speaking up is tough enough as it is. It’s difficult to speak out against bad behaviors of family members and friends, and it’s difficult when you are speaking out against an institution where a predator (or predators) is being protected. Being a whistleblower or coming forward can have long-lasting personal and professional impacts for you (and your loved ones). Doing the right thing doesn’t always reward you and sometimes you might wonder why you bothered to speak up at all.
Please know that speaking up for the right reasons is never wasted.
Some Motivation
If you are thinking of speaking up about something, I want to motivate you to focus on a few things:
- Not everyone finds their voice in the same way. For example, if you are someone who has suffered the devastating effects of gender reassignment surgery and you choose to speak up about it, you don’t necessarily have to develop a large social media following or do interviews. You can choose to help people in a quieter, less stressful way. You also might choose to keep your experiences to yourself, sharing them only when opportunities to help others present themselves. Your life does not need to become an open book because you are choosing to speak up on a particular issue.
- If you are dealing with an abuser, always remember that the fault lies with the perpetrator, not you.
- Prepare yourself ahead of time. Look into legal protection. It is vitally important to understand how to come forward in a way that best protects you.
- Find your “why.” Focus on your mission/ultimate goal. Have a plan and stick to it. Be sure you are speaking up for the right reasons. Even if you are sharing facts about someone’s actions, you have to ask yourself what your ultimate goal in exposing them is. If it’s simply for the sake of retaliation, you should probably re-evaluate. Tell the truth with love and out of love.
- Build your support system and check in with them.
- Know whether you want to be anonymous or use your name.
- Make sure you have your evidence. Hearsay and personal feelings aren’t always sufficient when coming forward about an issue or when taking down a predator. Know the facts and stick to them. Just tell it like it is. Resist any urge to embellish or dramatize your story.
- Practice good self-care. The stress of speaking up can really wear you down. Be sure you’re taking care of yourself.
- Finally, remember that no matter what anyone says or thinks about you is nothing compared to what God really thinks of you. I know that this one is easier said than done!
You do not Fight Alone
Whether you are confronting issues regarding sexual and gender confusion, taking down a predator, or speaking out against corruption, please know that your courage and perseverance will help many! We are now in the month of June, a month where many voices tend to speak out at once. Not everyone uses God’s gift of speech for good, and all of those voices are good and holy. Some voices amplify the filth and decay of the world. Ask God for the grace to always use your gift of speech for good. When we ask for God’s grace in speaking up, He can help us to accomplish goals that we will not always fathom in this world.
I want to motivate you to find the power in speaking up whenever necessary. Whatever or whomever you are speaking out against, know that you are not alone. Your voice can be a beacon of light helping to guide and heal others. Please don’t give up. God will always give you the gifts you need! There is power in speaking up and, even when human justice fails (as it sadly does at times), true justice is always in the hands of God.
The decision of whether or not to speak up is not an easy one to make, and I am so sorry if you have suffered in any way on account of using your voice. Sure, speaking up can be empowering but it can also be a tremendous cross to carry. At times, you may feel as though you are alone and fighting a losing battle. You might feel as though the weight of the world is on your shoulders. All you can do is speak the truth out of love and leave the rest to God.
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