Good men matter.
As a survivor of clerical abuse, I speak from lived experience and from the grace of having known men who reflected something true about God’s design for fatherhood and masculinity. While abuse often dominates conversations about men in positions of authority, Father’s Day is a reminder that there are countless fathers, husbands, grandfathers, and spiritual fathers who quietly and faithfully love those entrusted to their care.
I have been blessed to know many good men, but my father and my husband are at the top of that list.
My father has been one of the clearest examples of steady, faithful love in my life. He believed me and defended me when others did not. He struggled, as any father would, with the reality that someone had harmed his child, and I can only begin to imagine what that cost him. Yet even in that struggle, he never stopped loving me.
He loved me enough to say no when something would have brought me harm, prayed for me when I refused to pray, and quietly modeled forgiveness when I was not yet ready to forgive others—or even myself. Through profound grief, including the loss of my oldest brother, he carried our family with quiet perseverance and unwavering faith.
Today, in his seventies, his physical strength may not be what it once was, but his presence remains unchanged. He is joyful, patient, and steady. He is a proud “Papa” who prays with and for his children and grandchildren, plays with them, encourages them, and continues to show up faithfully. As his only daughter, he will always hold a special place in my heart.
My husband lives that same faithful strength in the ordinary moments of daily life. It is found in the long workdays he carries with generosity, in his patience when our home is noisy and chaotic, and in the wisdom he brings to the countless decisions family life requires. It is found in his commitment to lead us in prayer, to cover our family in prayer even when life is busy, and to place our needs before his own without seeking recognition.
He stands firmly for our faith and our family with a quiet courage that often goes unnoticed by the world but never goes unnoticed by those who love him.
Good men do not erase the reality of suffering. They cannot undo the wounds others have inflicted. But they do help reveal the truth that abuse is a distortion—not the design. Through their sacrifice, protection, faithfulness, and love, they reflect something beautiful about the heart of God.
This Father’s Day, I am grateful for the good men in my life. Their witness has been a reminder that authentic fatherhood is not about power or prestige. It is about presence, sacrifice, and love that remains.
For survivors like me, that witness matters more than words can adequately express.
